My mom called the other day.
“I have to tell you something.” she said.
I thought she had to tell me about her diet, a dream or maybe she had an epiphany while walking on the beach or something.
I told her I was listening.
“I’m cremating your father.”
My father has been dead and buried since 2000.
My thoughts began racing, and I just kept trying not to picture the condition of poor dad’s body. Would there be much of his body left to cremate? Was it illegal to unearth a dead body and burn it? What would we do with a slightly used, yet completely empty cemetery plot? How about the grave marker? Would we get to keep it?
It did cost a heap ton of money. If we got to keep it, where in the world would we put it? I got the feeling that mom would probably hang it on the wall in her living room.
I knew where mom had gotten the cremation idea. Her dear friend, Jo, who is a great friend of the family, lost her husband, Pat back in December. Pat had been cremated and put into a nice mahogany box.
Also, parts of him had been placed into a necklace. Although, I don’t know exactly what parts of his body were in the necklace.
It’s actually a beautiful necklace, and anyone would be proud to wear it. It’s a gold necklace with a gold cross pendant. Inside the center of the pendant, there’s a small glass bubble that contains his ashes.
“There you go, Pat.” she’d say while wearing the necklace. “Right in between my boobies, where you always used to be.”
I had heard rumors that Pat had some gold teeth, and that Jo wanted to pry the mahogany box open for two reasons….one, to check and make sure it was really Pat’s ashes in there, and two….gold is, well…gold!
Anyway, I asked mom how she intended to exhume dad, and that I didn’t think his brothers and sisters would like the idea all that much.
But, mom was determined. Dad was her husband, and she’d do what she pleased.
A few weeks have passed since the phone call. I haven’t asked her about it, but I get the feeling that it’s probably either too expensive, too illegal or too morbid.
I know mom really wants to have a part of dad with her, but poor dad is resting in peace at the moment, not pieces. I guess it would be different if we hadn’t buried him first.
Plus, he’s probably glad to finally have some quiet time to himself.
My Mom has always been a handful.