The Higher the Hair, the Closer to Jesus


I was born and raised down here in the South, and if I know anything, I know that all good hair is big hair.  I have a lot of hair, and when I’m not feeling so good about my hair, I’ve been known to throw in some extensions to help give me an extra boost of hair. (The Jessica Simpson HairDo is my extension of choice)

I used to tease my bangs back in the 80′s and early 90′s….and yes, I used lots and lots of Aqua Net.

I live with the fact that I have personally contributed to the holes in the Ozone Layer.

When I was a child, I had super-straight hair, but when I hit puberty, it curled up into corkscrew curls that I hate and I still can’t get rid of them.  When my hair is curly, I look like I’ve been electrocuted in a horrible accident.  That’s why this Southern girl straightens her hair, and has done so for at least 17 years or so….even if it does take 20 minutes out of every morning of my life.

When I was in the Beauty Shop, I noticed a product on the shelf called the Bumpit.

Now, for only $9.95, you too can have big, beehive-like hair without breaking or splitting your precious locks!

This is where I draw the line. Yes, Southern girls like our big hair (in moderation) but we don’t like to look like we just got a job at Dairy Queen!

This has got to be the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen. If you pair a Bumpit hairdoo with some frosted lipstick and some long, red acrylic nails….you can “kiss my grits” honey!

I’m certain that a Southerner did not invent this thing.  I would even venture to say that a yankee girl probably invented it after her jealousy of Southern hair got the best of her.

I think the Bumpit may go down in the Bad “As Seen on TV” hall of fame.  I think in a few more years, it could possibly be right up there with the Bedazzler and the Magic Bullet.

My mother is addicted to anything “As Seen on TV” and I usually get at least one “As Seen on TV” item for Christmas.  So far, I have a Hanger Cascader, a Salad Spinner, Mighty Putty, Space Bags, Green Bags, Oxy Clean, a box of Shamwows, a PedEgg and a Whizzit (which hurt like hell, so I gave it back)  The only thing I REALLY want for my annual “As Seen on TV” Christmas Gift this year is a Snuggie.  I hope I get a maroon one!

Anyway, I ended up buying a Bumpit.  As hard as it was to shell out the $9.95 for a product that I am totally against, I do have a reason for buying it.

I plan on using it as part of my Halloween costume.

Here’s the link……You’ll LOVE the video!

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One Response to The Higher the Hair, the Closer to Jesus

  1. Lovely just what I was looking for.

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